JetUNsetter

Kate Middleton or Princess of Wales rather is not well. That is a bad piece of news for her family. It is actually more than just bad for her husband and three young children. She is a young woman and is devastating to have to face what she is already or about to go through.

There was some rather inexplicable press and PR game happening over the past few months over something that is as normal or abnormal as life itself.

Back in the day everyone living in a small village and locking themselves up to heal would feed the gossip around the local small community. Some figures of old spinsters or black wearing women who nosed into other people’s lives are so common in fairy tales, family stories or just litterature. You would not show up in church on Sunday or fail to do your normal grocery run on Monday and the nasty little crowd would pick up. Theories would spread. Your family, who is still out and about has to hide or come up with lies. We read about that in so many books. We read about that in the press in 2024!

In our globalized world, we are no longer in contact with our neighbors, who barely know their names or habits. We don’t care who is doing the grocery next to us. We have no idea who is showing up in church.

So, there is some gap, a void. Thank God we have the Royals to gossip on. Our little society has grown big but our envious, miserable, mean hearts are still small. We are small scale cool and sober and big scale nosy and awful.

After months of PR games and failed comms management, there was catharsis. Kate was put on the bench! Literally, some PR professional in her team, chose to put her on a bench to perform a sad, uncool and unnecessary televised message (to whom exactly?) about her condition. But figuratively, she is in fact on the bench. She is sitting on that bench, all alone, obviously uncomfortable and miserable explaining herself for being unlucky. What is there to be on the bench for? What is there to apologize for? Being human and having to deal with cancer is something she did not control and surely did not welcome. Did she hide the truth? Did she doctor her photo on Mother’s Day? So be it. She is a human being suffering, going through emotions that are extremely hard to process and she can be free to cope as she likes. She can fail to cope well. She can fail to keep composed. She might not want to have her hair done and make up on to appear on TV. She can’t apologize for not being ultra brave before Death. She can’t be apologetic for sharing her condition with those that really care for her and not us. Who are we? Why pretend we care?

Our society wants us vulnerable and empathetic one day and fails to show a cumulative empathy against the most obvious of pains. We are open about mental health issues these days, we are free to talk about illness. Great. This is great progress but is not mandatory. Whomever cannot be vulnerable with an entire globe watching them that is fine. If a public figure wants a moment to themselves that is fine. Being open about illness is a right, a brave moment but shapes no expectation on the rest of us.

Besides, Kate is not a role model. She is a woman married into a family. They happen to be the Royal family but other than history and wealth, there is nothing special about them. They are not and they should not be a model to anyone. They have accomplished nothing, they represent no one. If they fail to cope with emotions around a disease well this is no information or example to anyone with that disease. Anyone with cancer right now, would they really feel better about it if Kate was open Day 1? Their support group is not Kate. It’s the people who can touch their hands, give them a hug. Other patients they bond with and share stories. Not some 2minute video.

Ok she is not a princess without subjects. We are making her a princess. She is not our mother, neither a friend though. Her public role does not and should not leak into turning us rightfully into those spinsters that lived in villages hundred years ago and nosed around tactlessly.

Progress means growing into better humans. Culture means we allow our souls to lift. We are sapiens because we can process good from bad and learn from mistakes. Is this Kate story propelling us forward or taking us years back?

No matter all this, my saddest thought is that, if this does not go well, 3 young children will have this video available to watch., Their sad mother on the bench for nothing. How proud is society of that? Please help me make sense of this one too…