JetUNsetter

We are all part of teams, right? We pair up, couple, up or team up. In love, at life, at work or just for fun or for a hobby. I often see teams succeed and more often, unfortunately but rather admittedly, I see teams fail. I have myself been part of teams, pairs, groups that failed massively or were just super efficient.

For years have attributed success in this context to compatibility. We find the right people to team up with and then the magic happens. Right? Wrong!

There is another ingredient, a stronger spice than compatibility, almost as essential as salt if I stick to my cooking analogy: eliminating fear by our own 50% (or any other portion depending how large the group is. Do the maths here). Fear of what? Usually and most commonly failure. At a deeper level maybe fear that the team will absorb us, consume us and we will lose ourselves in it. Which could classify as a failed team so maybe stick with fear of failure.

What I have experienced as successful groups or what I see the successful groups to have in common is an unmistakeable sign: they generate happiness. A successful bond demonstrates itself in the glowing faces of the individuals in the group. They have fun above all. Yes they get tired, they get stressed, they get confused or worried. They do have some positive coming out of it. This beaming state makes the participants want to come back to the group and walk the extra mile for its success. Otherwise, why on earth sustain the trouble? There is this pay off, that something in it for them which is nothing different than a source of happiness. Happiness can be the sense of achievement or the success waiting to be found at the end but usually it is as simple as wanting to be there, feeling good being part of it. And this joy comes early in the ride. It’s not something to wait for in the end.

So how to get there? Each of the participants needs be in the group freely but, most importantly, consciously. Consciously is key. We need to want to be there, for the very reason the group is formed, with these people that form it, for that vision it serves. Also, honestly. Mixed and different agendas will tear the group apart in no time and quite likely violently.

Yet no matter these, we need to join leaving our fear behind. And we need to be able to leave the fear behind. Creating safety in the group is the most important thing of all.

What is misleading or sabotaging though, is that sometimes we wait for someone in the group to take fear away. We aspire to sit behind this fearless leader and follow this person to success. Most probably we are waiting to be convinced by this assumed leader that the coupling up or the teaming up is worth the investment. It is as though we are waiting for that leader to inspire us that success is guaranteed and then, of course, we can give it our all.

I am afraid this leader might not exist. We are the ones to add the right ingredients to the mix. We need to assume success ourselves, each individual in the group needs to be believe the success of the group is possible and desired. It’s a leap of faith we each need to take. No one can or should convince us it’s worth it. We need to be there because we want to and we believe we should. Passiveness will create doubt, negativity, procrastination and blame. These are the ingredients guaranteeing the worst dish ever.

We cannot wait for a leader, we need to be the leader. We need to lead our ourselves to the causes and the groups that inspire us and we need to bring out best to what group we chose to join and honor. If we wait to be inspired, maybe it’s the wrong group and if we do get inspired by an assumed fearless leader we might get disappointed by where we will find ourselves in in the end.

Maybe it’s as simple as that. Be the leader, those we are not supportive let them and quite possibly leave them. And if not fun, not generating some joy in the process maybe not worth it. Maybe that is the sign or maybe the joy is what will take the fear away.

Before we leave though, we need to make sure we have allowed it to succeed first. Any decision to stay or leave without the confidence we have done our best is fragile, likely wrong and surely unfair.

Teaming up… Help me make sense of this one too…