JetUNsetter

I read somewhere that the only advice you need to succeed is “to take nothing personally”. Sounds straightforward and simple. Is it a good advice? And is it the only advice you need?

In the end, this is recycled in many different forms by psychologists, TikTok enthusiasts, motivational speakers and the likes. You will hear it as a prompt to love yourself, to stick to your own truth, not to fight reality, to stay focused on who you are and what you want, to just remember who you are, not to give your control to others, to be confident. No matter the words possibly people chose to put it in, it is the same principle: remember who you are and don’t let others define you or just be the one to define your reactions and how you engage.

Cool, someone angry shouts at you, remember you are not the one who is angry. You can stay sober and calm and chose how to respond to this angry person. Someone insults you. You don’t take it personally, you are confident enough to realise the person addressing you is insecure and shuttered, tries to belittle you but in the end this is their trouble, not yours. People will try and inflict their problems on others, share them if you want to see this more romantically. And you have a choice. Will you offer the chance to share them or you will gently push back and stay in your world? Safe in your perception of the world and your perception of reality.

Seems like a good advice. Very sensible. Very effective.

Is it the only advice you need? Is avoiding wrongful, unnecessary, harmful, toxic, dramatic engagement the only advice you need? Well, following this advice will likely save you from dwelling into mind reading people, it will protect you from your triggers, it might even lead to some deep healing. You will avoid the infliction so you can keep your mind focused on anything else of your choosing. I think this is the magic of this advice: instead of wasting time being pulled into the game other people want you to play you get to chose who to invest your time and energy. Imagine, the toxic colleague can leave you unaffected, the partner who misunderstood you because they saw the ghost of their mother before you will not translate into endless cappuccinos whining about them with your friends, your annoying kid who has a tantrum is a just a kid with a tantrum.

Under the common understanding that the only asset we each have is time, an advice to remember to spend it wisely on things and matters you chose rather than situations that chose you, is likely the best advice you need.

Please help me make sense of it too….