JetUNsetter

Some days, seems as though I come across the same message or at least ideas and thoughts around a certain theme or issue. As if there is something I need to learn or grasp and universe persists on it.

Yesterday I came across the following either in the press, social media or art:

a. Friends are our mirrors. Once we want to move forward and get rid of a certain aspect of ourself, the friendship ends. Abruptly, subconsciously and with no clear explanation nor formal ending

b. “ Sometimes we depend on other people as a mirror to define us and tell us who we are and each reflection makes me like myself a little more” (from my Bluberry Nights)

As you can imagine, these both stuck with me and some pondering started, continuing as I am writing this. What are relationships after all? A means to our individual growth? Do we really meet the others in our life or we just walk through mirrors, never escaping or outgrowing ourselves? And if that is the case, what is love? A self centered journey or an experience greater than ourselves?

I have come to agree that relationships, friendships or romance, end when there is nothing left there. When stagnant. Relationships that propel us forward or deeper, we keep. So possibly (a) above is true, at least its first premise. I still think that there is merit in explaining to other people why we part, but, humans are not always in tune with themselves. We don’t understand ourselves, we don’t know ourselves so well or we don’t want to look deeper into our actions, feelings and thoughts, comprehend them and then, eventually communicate them. That is hard work that may also have us a facing a trauma we have been suppressing… So, instead of an honest and formal ending to a relationship we mind find ghosting a little easier, blaming the other person, dismissing the other person, routinely just disengage and lose interest.

Then, there is (b). Connect not to grow but to explore ourselves. To define. Others like us or dislike us and we like or dislike them back and that helps us understand who we are, what we like and what we want to become.

Fair enough, but then is our journey through other people self centered and transactional? Where is love? What is love?

After much thought, I think love is behind the mirrors. For some people, we transcend outside ourselves, beyond ourselves or despite ourselves and we are ready to offer ourselves to them. We no longer get lost in a mirror, we actually see these other people we love. If we are lucky, they don’t hold a mirror either. Right? Please help me make sense of this one too…